Absolutely Yours

The Question

As I scroll through emails and social media, I am bombarded with articles and quotes on eliminating toxic relationships/people. Is it true that, in order to have a fulfilling life, we have to actively remove toxic people from our lives?

Wouldn’t it be nice if, once a year, a big sweeper-like machine came through and swept toxic people out of our lives? Something similar to this does exist. I call it C.A.R. – Conscious Awareness of Reality.

To get into C.A.R., you have to go back to these basics. There is only One Presence. This Presence is Life, Mind, Activity and Identity. This One, which you are, is indivisibly One, and there is no other. There is no toxic other.

You’ve heard it said that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Can you recall someone who came into your life for just a season? Do you remember the good times, the laughter, the moments of encouragement and emotional support? It was wonderful, wasn’t it? Then, like a smoke ring, it vanished! No harm done.

Relationships (of any type) tend to sour when the season is over and one party clings like a finger monkey to a thumb. It’s over. Let go!

However, I can’t leave it here without addressing the harebrained notion that God brings people into your life to teach you valuable lessons. You’ve heard the theory before. For just a second, think about it. Did you notice that this theory is riddled with dualism? God (Indivisible Oneness) is not a professor or a Life Coach. God does not use illusion to teach Truth. Furthermore, God (Indivisible Oneness) does not know of an other that needs to learn spiritual lessons. God is not aware of an unenlightened Identity – and neither are you.

“But, Allen, I’ve got to do something to get these people out of my life. What do I do?” Here’s what you don’t do. Don’t block their phone calls. Don’t move. Don’t avoid them. Do not take one single human step to detoxify your life. “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord Almighty” (Zechariah 4:6).

Remember the big sweeper – C.A.R.? It has to be by Conscious Awareness of Reality. Yes, you must realize that this so-called toxic other is the One Infinite Indivisible Presence of Truth, Life, Light and Love. This is not a matter of mental gymnastics where you hurl affirmations at the person. Affirmation without realization is like a car without an engine. True realization makes affirmations unnecessary. The thing is to get a clear realization that the seeming toxic one is just the One. In a flash, what appeared to be a toxic person is swept out of your life. The person may remain, but only as the One.